mainstream fiction which lacks craft, character development, and often deals with trite topics such as vampire romance involving feeble and helpless female characters waiting for rescue.

"Too drunk to fucktion" is a more specified spin-off from the term "too drunk to function" referring to someone being so intoxicated from alcohol that they can no longer perform even the simplest sexual acts with someone. This includes but is not limited to kissing, de-clothing either oneself or another, fellatio, cunnilingus, vaginal and anal intercourse. Once someone has reached this level of intoxication, it is often followed by violent vomiting and/or passing the fuck out.

(noun) the act or condition of getting raped by a test or other measure of intelligence or knowledge

being capable of staying alive and performing your everyday tasks while you're fucked up by life!
in other words, fucked up but still multi-functional

The function of fucking

When you’re too fucked to function you just can’t fucktion

When you are fucking and your dick gets stuck. May be painful.