In the office today there were two birds on the window ledge, a colleague said they were Swallows, immediately "Filthster" said "I love a bird that swallows. While in the canteen making an innocent cup of tea Filthster walked in and said "may I squeeze your bag sir" followed by "do you want me slip some man milk in there".

Wife: “Have you put the sheets out to dry and put the towels on?”
Husband: “Yes. You know I am a grown adult also used to live alone so you do not need to micro marrige me”