Evelyn wanted so badly to end the date right then. She did admit, though, that John was talented at one thing: despite his complete lack of social and conversational skills, he pulled off being a douchebag really well. Damn, Evelyn thought, this boy may not be the perfect boyfriend, but he sure is the perfect fawkwad.

"I'm tough, Mike! I never give an inch! I'm partial to taking a few though..."
"Ah, you're a real pipehitter."