Tom: Hey, man, did you know that if you hold up a match by your ass and fart, it'll make a huge fireball, with green smoke!

Dick: Nah, dude. That's fartlore. Besides, only 20% of people even have methane in their farts, which is the gas that makes it possible for farts to be flammable in the first place, silly! Now go make me a sandwich.

You're all stupid people and I hate you.