"Forgive my extrospection, but I'm suffering through a very difficult existential crisis."

"I'm sorry, but if you're paying for therapry, I shouldn't have to suffer through your extrospection."

Wife: “Have you put the sheets out to dry and put the towels on?”
Husband: “Yes. You know I am a grown adult also used to live alone so you do not need to micro marrige me”