by zane lowe June 27, 2005
by igetalotofdick April 24, 2022
Emmanuel College, University of Queensland is a residential college of the University of Queensland in St Lucia, Queensland, Australia. Emmanuel College was founded in September 1911. It was the first of the UQ residential colleges originally based on Wickham Terrace in Brisbane City to move to its current St Lucia site when the university relocated. The College admitted men only until the 1970's, when it became co-ed. Emmanuel College is currently the largest of the UQ colleges with approximately 350 students. Students living at Emmanuel College study for a wide range of degrees and are encouraged to excel academically through the college's extensive tutorial program. As well as academia, students at Emmanuel particpate in a wide range of mens and womens sports and compete against the other UQ Colleges for the annual Inter-College Cup (ICC).
Unfortunately the college has recently suffered due to the appointment of Marlene Tau. Ms. Tau is a proffessional student who does not have the capacity to function in the real world. For this reason she has found employment at the college due to their policy of employing the unemployable, in the past receptionist Wari has also greatly benefited from this scheme. Since arriving at Emmanuel, Marlene has succeeded in putting every member of the student body offside. Her policy of trying to act like a bossy parent to students, including telling people to "go to bed, you have to study tomorrow" has caused her to be the subject of much derision. She revels in the punishment of students caught enjoying themselves and is notorious for treating the students at the college, who are among the brightest school leavers in Australia, as children who are incapable of intelligent thought. She also seeks to remove the last vestiges of long standing traditions from the college as she attempts to create a college that is dry, boring and embarrassing on the sporting field. As she has proved incompetent as a college administrator, it is reccomdended that she pursue a career in film, Ms Tau performed admirably as a hobbit extra in the Lord of the Rings trilogy.
Unfortunately the college has recently suffered due to the appointment of Marlene Tau. Ms. Tau is a proffessional student who does not have the capacity to function in the real world. For this reason she has found employment at the college due to their policy of employing the unemployable, in the past receptionist Wari has also greatly benefited from this scheme. Since arriving at Emmanuel, Marlene has succeeded in putting every member of the student body offside. Her policy of trying to act like a bossy parent to students, including telling people to "go to bed, you have to study tomorrow" has caused her to be the subject of much derision. She revels in the punishment of students caught enjoying themselves and is notorious for treating the students at the college, who are among the brightest school leavers in Australia, as children who are incapable of intelligent thought. She also seeks to remove the last vestiges of long standing traditions from the college as she attempts to create a college that is dry, boring and embarrassing on the sporting field. As she has proved incompetent as a college administrator, it is reccomdended that she pursue a career in film, Ms Tau performed admirably as a hobbit extra in the Lord of the Rings trilogy.
Emmanuel College, University of Queensland, Australia is most defenitely the greatest college in ICC, pity about that lady that resembles a hobbit though....
by Proud Emmanuel Alumni member April 3, 2006