An Internet Relay Chat term used to describe how long a user has been connected to the network without being disconnected.
Eric: "According to this my e-penis is two an a half inches long. Wow! That's a an inch bigger than my real penis."
by Phaedrus2nd November 01, 2009
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The following is a calculation (unofficial) for determining the size of your ePenis.

ePenis being a term attached to Geeks/Nerds on the internet who wish to represent themselves by way of the ePenis.

Some refer to the ePenis as the levels of '1337', while some refer to ePenis as a method in which people give themselves their desired endowment size.

The following calculation bypasses both beliefs, and is based on the idea that ePenis is related to the amout of time one spent with the computer.

ePenis = Bandwidth use x HDD space consumed / age

Bandwidth use, bytes received (per month), times by hard drive space consumed so.. 50gb out of 80gb for example, divided by your age.

Everything is calculated in GB (Gigabytes) to make things easier. The age is in years (Duh). The result is represented as inches.

The inches is the length of your ePenis.

HDD space consumed is how much space you've used on all active hdd's attached to your computer.

Of course, the idea is that it changes per month, to prevent any one person having the 'largest' ePenis for all time, giving anyone a chance of having the 'largest' ePenis size.
My ePenis is <insert calculated length> long this month.
by Nirach July 17, 2006
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Excessive emotional and ego investment in an online message board or forum; a marked tendency to continue to argue one's point even after losing a debate in such a forum.
SuperFascist wouldn't let the argument go; he was clearly having e-penis issues.
by LM December 12, 2003
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A term used to discribe a mix of three factors in the fileshare community. It is a mix of your share, your bandwidth and the hardware on which your share is located. The higher the numbers the larger your e-penis.
"I Have 600GB on my Alienware and am connected to a T3. My e-penis is huge"

"I share 2GB on my 10 year old HP and am still on dialup. Any one got a tweezers for my e-penis?"
by TELOS January 22, 2004
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What the typical intardnet geek uses to prove his superiority. Usually involved with retarded flames and is used to compensate for having a tiny real penis.
SBB flips out his ePenis to 0wn everyone but no one cares, because he's not getting any in real life.
by Frank Stallone June 02, 2003
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a man's online ego, often growing in size with his forums post count, forum rep, and acquiring of a 10 dollar host booter.
player a - "dont fuck with me troll, dont you know who i am? ill drop your net for a week kid"

player b - "holy shit bro, just hit 4k post count? e-penis must have grown another inch"

player b has disconnected.

(msn) kodey tinney is now offline.
by FFCORBY December 14, 2010
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Aside from the above definition "A term used to describe the technological prowess of an individual, usually in an internet community. Factors that engorge the e-penis include bandwidth, computer speed, hard drive size, size of DVD collection, and an impressive frag count in any number of popular first person shooters", factors that shrivel the e-penis include mearly having world of warcraft installed on your computer & various other massive multiplayer online games, possesion/membership of any number of differnt types of caroon porn, frequenting lord of the rings chat rooms (only one return & that is of the Jedi!!!) and being a virgin while not being an e-virgin.
"My e-girlfriend, SuperSexy69Elf, was totally all over my e-penis last night in the Hobbit Sex chatroom."
by Damn Kaufman January 11, 2007
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