A middle stage of the creation of an erection, normally brought about by non-tactile means, which -- if mistaken for a completely flaccid penis -- would make one viewing the penis think the gentleman is exceedingly well-hung.
So she answers the door with some jean shorts on, and all of a sudden I have a 3/4 distorter in my pants.
by DonQuiKong July 20, 2011
Phenomenon that occurs when seeing a person from a great distance. At such great distances the person has the potential for being attractive, but upon closer inspection is plain haggard. AKA "DDF".
Synonymous with "Fifty Yard Fakeout" and "Good from far but far from good".
Synonymous with "Fifty Yard Fakeout" and "Good from far but far from good".
"Hey Mike check out that blonde chick up there."
After passing without talking to her, "Wow that was a serious Distance Distortion Factor".
After passing without talking to her, "Wow that was a serious Distance Distortion Factor".
by KamelJockey2001 January 29, 2008
Guy 1: Man she's HOT!!!!!!
Guy 2: Nah man that's a DDF.
Guy 1: A what?
Guy 2: Distance Distortion Factor. See shes so ugly now that were close.
Guy 2: Nah man that's a DDF.
Guy 1: A what?
Guy 2: Distance Distortion Factor. See shes so ugly now that were close.
by bombsquad1825 April 22, 2011
reality-distortion field n. An expression used to describe the persuasive ability of managers like Steve Jobs (the term originated at Apple Computer in the 1980's to describe his peculiar charisma). Those close to these managers become passionately committed to possibly insane projects, without regard to the practicality of their implementation or competitive forces in the marketpace.
"A reality distortion field. In Steve's presence, reality is malleable. He can convince anyone of practically anything. It wears off when he's not around, but it makes it hard to have realistic schedules."
by Matrix9180 August 13, 2004
The effects of an amount of money so large that it warps and distorts legal, political, and social systems that get near it. This is analogous to a black hole's gravity well that can force light which normally travels in straight lines to travel in a path that looks curved.
"That Madoff guy generated such a large money distortion field with his Ponzi scheme that he'll never go to jail!"
by Dr. Dave da Brewmeister February 2, 2009
I’ve spent my life trying to pin down the complex interaction between genetic and environmental factors that have gone into my well-known and intractable distorted time lens.
by Dr Bunnygirl May 18, 2023
The disease in which the afflicted person(s) unconsciously makes a face that could be interpreted as sexual arousal, constipation, or insanity.
by Facial Distortion Syn Survivor October 26, 2009