"I was jacking off and my cat jumped on my lap right before i came. It was a terrible disasturbation session."
"Then a couple days later, my mom decided to barge into my room to wake me up as i was cranking it under my sheets. I disasturbated twice this week."

You're all stupid people and I hate you.

Theres no such thing as the verb, "disasturbate" because you never plan it. Disasturbation is the result of a failed attempt. Disasturbation just happens, and boy does it suck when it does.

Masturbation turns into disasturbation if you're arrested for doing it in public.

"Dear god - I have ripped my own penis off. I must tell no one about this distasturbation mishap."

"Oh no the zombies have broken in through my back doors ;)"
*explosive disasturbation*