skills that are absolutely mediocre (aka skills that aren’t good at all)

The anal swab you do at the clinic, like a pap smear, but instead involves inserting a sterile cotton swab into your lower fun zone.

The millennial pop culture phenomena of sending photos of one's fecal matter to their friends or acquaintances in return for the social affirmation they so desperately desire.

When your feces make a splash inside the toilet while you are taking a dump, often resulting in getting wet.

Evolving from tea bagging, a Crap Stamp is when you touch something or someone important with your butthole.

a hall pass used to go to the restroom.

Like lightning-struck but with crap (i.e. unsatisfactory)
However, unlike lighting, crap often does strike twice in the same place.