One who does absolutely nothing in life but stay on a couch (not necessarily theirs) and surf the internet or watch tv (not necessarily their computer or their tv). Unlike porch monkeys, who are racially stereotyped, couch monkeys can be any gender, color, or sexual orientation. (There's no need for Randall to "take it back")

the art of remembering an arousing occurrence or some porn you watched while masturbating, often handy if you have no porn or your in the shower

A person who camps out on the damn couch all the time complaining about why they can't work because of a disability, fucked up surgery, or whatever. Generally someone you have to put up to get something else.

A story that strings the audience along a long, long, long path with no punchline, esp. in discussion threads.

Rickroll of 2009.

See: http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4228089&IDComment=48987239#c48987239