"smitty, you little bitch. watching all that perfectly good smoke rise from the top of the pipe while you're telling some bullshit story instead of passing it is really killin me here. if you had been corner hitting this wouldn't have been an issue because you would have still gotten a good hit off a fraction of the total volume and saved plenty for the rest of us. and if you've really had a girlfriend for six months, how come none of us have ever seen her in real life or in your facebook pictures?"

"I'm tough, Mike! I never give an inch! I'm partial to taking a few though..."
"Ah, you're a real pipehitter."