Man, back in high school I was the shit. I used to ride up about 10 minutes late every day on my Harley-Davidson in my leather jacket and sunglasses. I'd walk into class and take my usual seat in the back of the room, where the two hottest girls in the school were waiting for me. Then I'd light up a cigarette, Marlboro Red of course, lean back in my seat to where I was almost lying down, and put my arms around the girls. If the teacher told me to put out my cigarette, I'd laugh and say "Make me." She wouldn't of course because I was too cool to not smoke. Yeah, I was about as cool as the other side of the pillow.
No, actually I was a nerd who watched Star Trek marathons and wrote code for Mac OS 9 at age 12.
No really, I was always pretty normal, but I always used to look at the other side of the pillow and wished I could someday be that cool.

Wife: “Have you put the sheets out to dry and put the towels on?”
Husband: “Yes. You know I am a grown adult also used to live alone so you do not need to micro marrige me”