1. Being in the state of constant misfortune or in a non-stop state of disrepair.

2. Constipation after a heavy night of drinking or drug use.

"Sucks to be Mike, not only did he get laid off from work today but on his way home he got a flat tire and a call from his wife saying she is leaving him because she got a notice of a Federal Tax Audit...that boy keeps getin constafuct!"

Adj. Something that is expected to have a long lifespan by virtue of having existed for a long time, based on the lindy effect, named for the New York restaurant Lindy's, coined by Albert Goldman and popularized by Nassim Taleb.