the cold j is a form of big j invented by the vikings in the late 7th century. To perform a cold j the woman (or in some cases men) would hold ice, freezing water or cold iron in their mouth for 30 seconds to an hour. Then Viking ding dong would then be cold j'd until satisfied.

when you're hungover as shit after a spending a night drunk as a skunk

Killing and fucking your wife's dead body similar to what O-J did but with out the hassle.