1. a mysteriously popular forum for professional sharks to fob off underperforming investments onto gullible amateur investors- particularly targeting the elderly and mentally incompentent.
2. a media outlet for stale news that has circulated through wall street and already been entirely priced in. see 1.
3. a t.v. channel where demi-literate carpetbaggers, carneys, and cockgobblers are invited on to maunder and prevaricate and thereby encourage everyone to throw their money away.
4. an eye magnet for bored, horny, attention-deficit disordered wall streeters
"That fat guy on cnbc just said the new economy would last forever and I should leverage my retirement savings into Sycamore Networks, MicroStrategy and I2 Technologies."
"That chick on cnbc might be stupid but she is hot. She has some dick-sucking lips."
"There is a fat hyperactive gremlin with a ritalin problem on cnbc with his own show, called MadMoney. He is a testament to special education in this country."
by fbd October 20, 2005
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Consumer News and Business Channel (CNBC for short); owned by General Electric that provides business and consumer based programming covering the stock market, world currency and events that affect the economy. Primarily watched by people with over 90% of their total networth in stock market, who haven't yet come to terms with the notion of diversification.

Also the only network to date, who has been able to do the impossible -- which is combine extremely hot women who also happen to be extremely smart, which is a rarity (ie. Liz Claman, Maria Bartiromo and Bertha Coombs)
Dude, turn it on cnbc, I just bought some AAPL stock yesterday
by BMoney January 31, 2005
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An investing news network on cable. CNBC used to complain that the government over regulated and made capital too difficult to obtain. After the financial fallout due to lack of regulation and easy money, CNBC now complains about the government bailouts and stimulus packages.
I watch CNBC when there are no good info-commercials on.
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Childless not by choice.
People often assume I have children.

Unfortunately I don’t, as I’m CNBC.
by Woodsey July 21, 2022
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A investment/business global network that claims to be "First and Business Worldwide". Commonly known for it's hosts asking guests repetitive questions such as "So where are you investing right now?", "Do you think we've made a bottom", "Are you looking for a double bottom.", "Where should investors be putting money to work".... ect.

Also known for it's overuse of "Breaking News" and "CNBC Alert" headlines at the bottom of the screen.

Generally the network is strictly focused on market fundamentals, almost completely ignoring technical analysis. More geared for the "mom and pop" investors, who like to "buy and hold", or for those who are strictly focused on investing using fundamental analysis.

Competitor of Bloomberg Television and Fox Business Network. In terms of breaking news and market analysis CNBC tends to be second, usually a few seconds behind Bloomberg for breaking news.

Including such prominent shows such as "Squawk Box", "Squawk on the Street", "Street Signs", "Power Lunch", "The Call", "Closing Bell", "Fast Money", "Mad Money", "The Kudlow Report", "CNBC Reports", "Squawk Australia", "Asia Squawk Box", "Cash Flow", "Capital Connection", "Squawk Box Europe", "Worldwide Exchange", "Strictly Money" and several other "CNBC Originals" and weekly programs.
Kevin turned on CNBC to hear analysis of Apple's Q2 Earnings Report.
by Kylash October 1, 2009
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Liberal leftwing opinion show masquerading as news shot that constantly bashes, degrades and shames regular Americans because they feel that you are not smart enough to make decisions on your own and should work harder so that others do not have to. Their view is that for you to prosper is a bad thing and will be taken from you like most other liberties in the US Constitution.
Those neocon small businesses have no right to work hard and keep their money, we can tax them and solve the problems in America for them. Our CNBC insights with our panel panel of government employed experts starts now....
by ARYBR January 13, 2012
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