A man who owns no coffee pot because he grinds the coffee beans with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage!
All you Chuck Norris haters have nothing better to do than blast him for what you say are failed attempts, lame, douchebag, or fake hollywood exaggerations of a normal man, but I can tell you that he OWNS his own tae-kwon-do and Karate dojos, and will kick your ass without as much a courtesy as a roundhouse kick to the face, but to your BALLS! Did you ever think that all that mid-2000 hype was just what they were? JOKES!! I honestly doubt that a single Chuck Norris Facts joke creator/inventor ever had a serious belief that the man was god himself or that the information was even possible (except for sneezing with his eyes open, that is very possible for many people, check out myth busters). All you haters hating on Norris and his fans are claiming him to be a failure...He still makes millions every year, he is in better shape than all of you, and has more houses than you will ever sleep in your entire life! Last time I checked, failures don't get what they want... Norris got almost everything. Beat that Bitches!
by roundhouse_kick_warning July 28, 2011
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the matrix is just a codename the real name is chuck norris.

neo said he was the matrix....
and nobody heard from him again.
screw the matrix belive in chuck norris
by kaiser 1337 August 21, 2006
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A freak of nature, able to kill people with an intimidating stare, roundhouse-kick anything into dirt, and destroy a nation.
chuck norris once had an erection. There were no survivors.

the atomic bomb was discovered when chuck norris split an atom with his fist.

Hurricanes are a direct result from chuck norris breathing heavily

The rhicter scale was developed to measure chuck norris's stomach growl

When Chuck Norris hunts, he doesn't use a gun. He just looks into his prey's eyes and they kill themselve's to escape his punishment.

Chuck Norris beat the Hulk in arm wrestling. Then he round-house kicked the angry right out of him.

Chuck Norris once failed a class. Then he wiped that class off of the face of the Earth.

Chuck Norris and Superman used to be roomates on Krypton. One day they had a disagreement, and chuck norris punched the planet apart.

When Chuck Norris pops his pimples, they grunt

Chuck Norris willl scare 2012 away.
by maisonJjjm March 16, 2011
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The manliest person on earth

Facts about Chuck Norris:

-Chuck Norris was born on may 6, 1945. Nazi Germany surrendered the next day.
(Look it up)

-Even after getting his ass kicked by Bruce Lee, he was still the manliest person on earth.
(He still is)

-When Chuck was only a few months old, he got sick and sneezed. That sneeze is now known as Hiroshima.

When he was in his 20's, he sneezed again. That sneeze is now known as Tsar Bomba.

-There was once actually life on mars. Then there was Chuck Norris on mars.

-Many people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

-Chuck Norris won a staring contest with Slenderman.

-Most people cut butter with a knife. Chuck Norris can cut a knife with butter.

-Chuck Norris once played a game of russian roulette with all the bullets in (and went first). He won.

-Chuck Norris was once bitten by a snake. The snake died 2 days later.

-Whenever Chuck Norris steps on a Lego, the Lego cries.

-Chuck Norris acted in Star Wars. His role was the Force.

-Chuck Norris has a gmail account. It is:

-Chuck Norris does not do push-ups; he just pushes the earth down.

-Under his beard, there is only another fist.

- Before the boogyman goes to sleep, he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.

-When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, the zombie turns into a Chuck Norris.

-Jesus can walk on water. Chuck Norris can swim through land.

-Chuck Norris does not need a GPS. He decides where he is.
Chuck Norris is the most badass motherfucker that has ever lived.
by Name removed by the NSA December 11, 2013
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A man who has 4 biographies written simply on his feats and whose legend is undescribable.
Chuck Norris's dick is big that it has its own dick. And Chuck Norris's dick is bigger than your dick.
by chucknorrisisprettycool June 24, 2011
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