According to what school tells you: A great man who accidentally discovered America when no one else could find it.

Reality: A greedy piece of genocidal shit who wasn't the first person to find America, the Native Americans discovered America before anyone else and after the Native Americans found America, vikings discovered America, and a several explorers found it too. But for some reason, Columbus ends up taking all the credit for something the Native Americans discovered.To add insult to injury, he ends up enslaving a bunch of Native Americans to take to Spain as slaves (this is 100% true) and his Spanish sailors and him killed approximately 8 million Native Americans (also true) Talk about some major bullshit.

When you eat dirt for the first time and leave your family to build a shack in the woods

A man who raped several 9 and 10 year old kids, murder of 8 million arawaks while enslaving them, cannibalism, feeding babies to dogs, stealing hundreds of thousands of square acres of land, (Illegally) using biological weapons and diseases to kill 97 million people, and sending over 9000 to Europe as Slaves.

1.An Italian sailor who is wrongfully given credit for "discovering the New World."Most of our high school history textbooks make him out to be a hero, when really, he was a greedy and genocidal maniac who enjoyed raping children. He killed, with the help of his Spanish sailors, around 8,000,000 people in less than 10 years- and that was just on Haiti.

Christopher Columbus is CREDITIED with discovering "the new world", but in fact, he didn't.

When you take a monster shit and it touches dry land. i.e. the dry part of the toilet.