An albatross who has evolved around dairy farms and cheese factories.

It's wings are held together by different kinds of cheeses because it loves to bathe in hot cultured milk and flap inside the vats to make cheese.

Most cheesebatrosses prefer young cheeses like Gouda because they are easier to make and require less effort. Cheesebatrosses are the same size as other species of Albatrosses however their talons have evolved to specifically grab cheese from distracted picnickers and vulnerable children enjoying cheese string or grilled cheese.

They can be quite viscous when protecting the cheesy nests and will go for the eyes and crotch. They have been known to chase the Cheetos cheetah away from the large amounts of Cheetos he has received through endorsement deals and steal them.

They have also been known to feed on small human children by spraying very sticky cheese , grabbing them and dropping them on jagged rocks for a lovely tender and cheesy meal. They are quite fascinating and are mostly found in southern Canada and the east coast of the United States.

Mercury retrograde is the act of taking a shit whilst mooning one or more human beings. Your day can typically being going well, according to your horoscope, until you are forced into witnessing Mercury retrograde. Performing Mercury retrograde will often speed the astrological cycle forward for the individual performing the Mercury retrograde, bringing about happy and fruitful times to come.