My girlfriend laughed as she walked in on me masturbating and caught me breaching the castle, and then having to clean jizz off of my face.

you are such an brett castle.

"Bury the castle in my vagina you stud."
"She was wide enough that I could bury the castle with ease!"

I will not be coming into work today, I created my own Chipotle Castle and cannot leave the house.

Totally caught Ben Barnard-castling last night when he tried to bluff his way out of why he didn’t have dinner ready. His excuse was downright pathetic!

Have you read that series, Bellbridge Castle Advantics By ~PrincessOfBellbridge?

Disgusted office-worker who was greatly in need of a little good ol'-fashioned R&R: That no-good shyster of a realtor gave me a glowing song-and-dance description of this backwoods cabin on the lake --- described it as a "castle in the air" vacation cottage, and claimed it had "electric lights, running water, and stained-glass windows". Turned out to merely be a shabby musty hovel hardly bigger than an outhouse, with absolutely no amenities whatsoever --- the "electric lights" turned out to be just a couple of small LED battery-lamps hanging from the ceiling (which I ended up having to buy fresh batteries for, by the way!), and the "running water" translated into merely a plastic bucket that you would pick up and "run" down to the lake, fill the pail with water (what am I --- Jack and Jill?!), and then "run" back up to the cabin again! And come to find out that the "stained glass" in the windows was nothing more than just the disgusting filmy MOLD-STAINS on the panes from the damp closed-up-for-months interior of the cabin! What a rip-off!