An absolute weapon who bleats all day about houses, often takes people to a Friday Gun Show, and is a proper beanpole.

pretty much the coolest dude ever. he taught superman to fly and the hulk his upper body workout. he invented the alphabet, and told the first chuck norris joke ever. the dos equis man demanded a disclaimer saying that he was second to Reuben Nathaniel Burch. pretty much a freakin genius, total nerd, sexy nerd, sweetest, most awesome guy you have ever had the privilege of hearing about.

A term used to refer to your sister even though it has no real or relevant association. Mostly used by people of Central Western Illinois, Central Eastern Iowa, and Presque Isle Maine.

the obligatory search and seizure of your Costco merchandise by "Burch," your friendly Costco receipt-checker (a.k.a. the "Costcop")

Burch is a fine fellow but Burch and seizure is downright silly. Burch performs a ridiculous job with aplomb.

Sounds like a digestive disorder

A state of total and utter inebriation to the point where one loses complete control of their faculties, causes injury to themselves, and wakes up with no recollection of the previous day's happenings.

To be elevated in status.