When you drop a fast heavy deuce and the toilet water splashes up into your ass crack.
I was so glad I found a clean restroom but the muddy bidet ruined it for me.
by Toooldforthis July 28, 2022
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When you have run out of toilet paper and you call your cousin Cletus or equivalent to come and do you a solid and use his stream of urine to clean your chocolate covered starfish.
“Yeah I ran out of toilet paper and I had to give my cousin a call to come and give me an Appalachian bidet to get clean.”
by Loganjaman August 16, 2023
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a naturally occurring spring or geyser one uses to bathe the genital and perineal areas of the body
Unhappy Camper: I forgot my toilet paper when I came to camp at Yellowstone and now i have to poop but there's only cacti to relieve the poo from my bottom. What should I do?

Local: Well you should use Nature's Bidet. Go poop on that mound over there and don't get up until 35 or 120 minutes have passed.
by Keeton1229 May 25, 2011
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Getting a dog to lick ones butthole after going number two.
My colleague Josh trained his labrador to give him an American bidet--- god damn, you should see how happy the dog is afterwards.
by Khalfani Lisimba November 6, 2017
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Taking a shit and then hopping in the shower and using the shower to clean off your butthole, preferably with a jet setting.
Yeah, toilet paper is a scam. I just hop in the shower and do the ol' american bidet and then use a little soap.
by Jobungus October 4, 2023
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The act of shitting in your side-loading washing machine, then using it to clean yourself.
Theres a line for the bathroom, I guess it's time for an American bidet.
by Mjku December 22, 2014
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When you poop and it plops into the water and splashes your bottom.
by kiefferteefer March 20, 2023
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