57
A book which, though it has no observable evidence and often contradicts itself, is thought by many to be 100% accurate.

It's as if Harry Potter were believed to be true, only this time, Harry gets revenge by controlling the masses with his unseen magical powers. Oh, yes, and we can never see Harry, either, until it's too late and we're 6 feet underground.
Me: The Bible makes no sense!
Christian: Have you read it?
Me: Yes! That's why I know it makes no sense!

Christian: Read the Bible. It tells you that God answers all prayers.
Atheist: I prayed. He didn't answer my prayer.
Christian: Trust that he knows which prayers to answer, if any.
Atheist: O_o *Circular logic, anyone?*
by IceMetalPunk November 10, 2008
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59
A highly popular fictitious literary work, almost as popular as the Twilight series.
Priest to congregants: We've noticed that this new Twilight book is turning out to be more popular than the Bible we've been teaching, so we've decided to teach Twilight instead.
Congregants: Fuck yeah!
by lifeinhd April 07, 2009
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60
A thing republicans often confuse with the consitution.
Republican: We can't have gay marriage! God doesn't like it! It says so in the bible, which is our constitution!
Logical person: The constitution says we have a separation of church and state.
Republican: uh... Fuck you bitch! You going to hell cause you don't like Jesus!
by JakeRyan277 March 30, 2015
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61
A book written by a bunch of hippies, about 2000 years ago, who were smoking some serious hash at the time. Never actually figured for their text to be taken seriously.
"Hey, Josh, dude, let's put some shit in their about a guy, right?"

"Yeah, rad man, and he can be like... uh, tossed overboard into the, uh, like ocean, right?"

"Cool, and then, like... a giant fish, just like, comes up and swallows him, man."

"AWWWWH, far out man!"

"And he could then, like, chill in the fish for a few days, before it like... spits him back out, you know?"

"Chilled man."

"What should we call this book, yo?"

"How about, like, something that sounds like Babel."

"Yeah, like the town."

"Only, bib... Bibe.... oh, The Bible!"

"Holy shit man!"
by Degree7 July 09, 2009
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62
B.I.B.L.E-Basic Instruction Before Leaving Earth. Song by Wu-Tang Clan member GZA
B.I.B.L.E-Liquid Sword-GZA
by k-flow February 27, 2005
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63
A book which contains a lot of nonsenses and incoherent ideas with no back-up information at all. It' s also the biggest mind-manipulating tool ever.
Reading a Bible is a waste of time.
by SoullessDeath January 09, 2010
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