A big book of events that seem to be written as half-assed and untrue, but despite it being over 2,000 years old, people still believe in it. Nobody cares if you believe in it or not except for true Christians and/or missionaries.

Many people on the urban dictionary bash the bible. I can't tell if its a joke or if they are being serious. They are probably serious. Nobody really cares either way.
So many people choose to absolutely bash the Bible and relate it to toilet paper. I actually find some of them pretty funny.
by CAST IRON CLETUS December 22, 2017
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If you follow the bible or basic instrutions before leaving Early you will go to Heaven.
by #Biblegirlsareawesome January 18, 2017
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You can say bible if you want to be in taken seriously.
Im telling you he was smoking weed your lying bible.
by Queen_bible June 25, 2017
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A book of God's own words that when read reveals the deepest fear of all evil men, the truth of a Creator God and His Son, Jesus, the only salvation for mankind from an eternity spent in hell, to whom one day all men will bow and answer to. This revelation of the deepest fear of evil men can be easily seen and read in many of the other definitions for "Bible" written in the Urban Dictionary, for man demonizes and lashes out at what he fears.
The Bible verse Hebrews 4:12 states, "For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart."
by God'struthseeker February 23, 2013
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Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth

God's gift to humans that is the only tangible form of absolute truth in this world and the flawless and infallible history of mankind. A book that is feared by many, except for those that understand it-which are Christians. In other words if you're not a Christian, then its all going to go over your head, so don't even bother if you're not really interested.
Person 1: My friend said that the Bible is a collection of fairytales and is based off the ignorance of man.
Person 2: So in other words, he didn't understand any of it and now he's in denial.
by Detrimental Deity January 14, 2006
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When you're such a pathological liar that every time you say something of importance everyone asks you.."do you swear on the holy bible?" In order to confirm the truth... saying the shortened "bible" just minimizes the length of the asking while not compromising its purpose.
"Man, I fucked that 300 pound chick last night." - Me
"Bible?" - My friends
"Bible!" - Me
"Holy fuck, I thought you were lying about that, you're sick dude" - My friends
by JCrummer May 05, 2009
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A religous book used by Christian religions as a guide for living and recieving salvation.
It cannot be proven true, but more evidence supports truth in the bible than falsity. (And dont' start now with your evolution crap. You need more blind faith to believe in evolution than you do for christianity.)
It is often bashed by people who have nothing to believe in, and have nothing better to do with their time. See insecure for a more clear definition of these people.
The bible not only contains religous teaching, but provides advice for simply getting along with other people.
by LoveTaxi September 23, 2006
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