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The Book that is often kept in hotel rooms to make men feel guilty after they've cheated on their wives, or after they've watched that blue movie.
The Bible is a double-edge sword: it provides wisdom to those who study it with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, and it also convicts them if they've morally or ethically gone astray.
by MathPlus June 25, 2016
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The Bible in 50 words...

God made, Adam bit, Noah arked, Abraham split, Joseph ruled, Jacob fooled,Bush talked, Moses balked, Pharaoh plagued, people walked, sea divided, tablets guided, Promise landed, Saul freaked, David peeked, prophets warned, Jesus born, God walked, love talked, anger crucified, hope died, Love rose, Spirit flamed, Word spread, God remained.
- What other book has all the words from the Bible?
- A dictionary.
by alvit May 20, 2009
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a slang term used quite often by the Kardashian family, used instead of "i swear" or "i promise" or "im not joking"
Kourtney: OMG I saw Laura and Megan today!
Kim: Are you serious?!

Kourtney: Bible I saw them shopping at the mall together
by kardash4life January 01, 2011
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The Bible is probably the best book ever. You can use it as a coaster, hit people with it, look funny and quote it, eat the pages, fire fuel, toilet paper, start a war, control the stoopid people of the world, read it and become president, Hanaukkah present, piss off the Muslims, and turn back the clock.
I used my bible yesterday as a fiber subustitute.
by MistahTom December 07, 2005
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An ancient novel full of murder, corruption, homosexuality, bestiality, incest and cruelty. It is often read to children on Sunday.
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This is the ACTUAL definition: The Bible (from Koine Greek τὰ βιβλία ta biblia "the books") is any one of the collections of the primary religious texts of Judaism and Christianity. There is no common version of the Bible, as the contents and the order of the individual books (Biblical canon) vary among denominations. The 24 texts of the Hebrew Bible are divided into 39 books in Christian Old Testaments, and complete Christian Bibles range from the 66 books of the Protestant canon to the 81 books of the Ethiopian Orthodox Church Bible. The Hebrew and Christian Bibles are also important to other Abrahamic religions, including Islam and the Bahá'í Faith, but those religions do not regard them as central religious texts.
In Theology I, we examined the New and Old Testaments of the Bible.
by LizSteve May 27, 2012
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A bible is one(1) million cash organized and wrapped tightly within rubber band(s). 10 books equals a bible. 100 stacks equals one(1) bible. 1000 racks equals one(1) bible. Also see rack stack book
Jen: How much money do you have in these garage bags?
Tom: 5 bibles

Note: Technically equals = $5,000,000
by May 20, 2016
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