Classical logic (usually Rationalism) of the early Greek philosophers (Socrates, Plato, Aristottle) demented beyond all recognition to make others feel stupid and prove random, pointless things (pumpkins are really purple, you don't exist, four means five) to demonstrate, in the user's mind, and all observers, the user's intellectual superiority over his victims. Usually used to compensate for shortcomings in social skills and genital endowment. Numbers often used in lieu of statements, and quotes of victim usually blown completely out of proportion (Ex. So, If Texan, Then Racist, so If P, Then Q). Easily defeated if you have taken the first few weeks of a basic college philosophy course, or with a good swift (but very well-aimed) kick to the nuts.

A pubic hair piece. A toupee for the pubic area/genitals. In the 1700’s when mercury was used to treat sexually transmitted diseases (Gonorrhea or Syphilis) one of the side effects was the loss of pubic hair. To disguise this condition, that was not cured by mercury, a Merkin was employed.