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The beached whale is a term given for a fat or otherwise unattractive person that hits on you at a bar or club and, despite your disinterest or general disgust, this person will try multiple attempts on you, and follow you around.
"i was out last night and this whale totally beached on me."

or

"where were you? there's two hotties wanting to buy us drinks."
"ugh, sorry. beached whale wouldnt get off me."
by tboners January 03, 2012
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A beached whale is made by turning off the water to someone's toilet, then flushing the toilet so that the bowl is devoid of water, then taking a shit.
Andrew was a terrible party host, so I left him a beached whale.
by JDN February 01, 2006
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23
a shit that is so large part of it sticks out of the water in the toilet bowl
"Wow dude i just packed a lip and dropped a nice beached whale in that bathroom."

"Shit that must have been huge!"
by Ron Nabriel April 25, 2008
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A rather large person who is "strung out" on PCP and various other narcotics.
Cincinnatti police found a beached whale and decided to club it to death, having no easy access to baby seals.
by Unknown December 04, 2003
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25
when you whipe your ass and strategicly place the toilet paper on the dry part of the toilet bowl so it surprises the next user and generly needs assistance to get flushed
my wife was pissed i left a beached whale for her
by muffie muffin pants December 07, 2008
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a scandalous online newspaper made by some amazingly genious girls
Did you read about *** getting shafted by **** in The Beached Whale today??
by Tabatha November 05, 2003
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27
when on a beach (preferred, but may also partake away from the beach)when a woman is on her knees and forearms and her hands are in the praying position, and the guy kneels behind and proceeds to stick his wang into her anal orphace until he gets sand (or excrement)on his member, therefore being (beached)
michelle cheated on tyler when she gave EJ a beached whale, which caused him to always look guilty.
by andyland June 19, 2004
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