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Assholes Anonymous or AA – A 12-step program for assholes in an attempt to recover from its horrible sphincter grip into recovery. An asshole can never be cured but they can be “in recovery.”
Some never come to grips with their situation until they have suffered an assectomy
The 12 Steps of Assholes Anonymous
1. We admitted we were powerless over our assholiness - that our lives had become unmanageable
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to non-asshole living.
3. Made a decision to turn our asshole desires and asshole habits over to the care of God as we understood God
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of our own personal asshole.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our being an asshole.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of being an asshole.
7. Humbly asked God to remove our assholes.
8. Made a list of all persons the asshole in us had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or other assholes
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were being an asshole, promptly admitted it
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will to free us from our assholes and the power to carry that out
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other assholes, and to practice these principles in all our affairs
Some never come to grips with their situation until they have suffered an assectomy
The 12 Steps of Assholes Anonymous
1. We admitted we were powerless over our assholiness - that our lives had become unmanageable
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to non-asshole living.
3. Made a decision to turn our asshole desires and asshole habits over to the care of God as we understood God
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of our own personal asshole.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our being an asshole.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of being an asshole.
7. Humbly asked God to remove our assholes.
8. Made a list of all persons the asshole in us had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or other assholes
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were being an asshole, promptly admitted it
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will to free us from our assholes and the power to carry that out
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other assholes, and to practice these principles in all our affairs
From an AA (Assholes Anonymous) meeting:
Mike: "My name is Mike and I am an asshole. I was born an asshole and have been an asshole, sometimes in denial all of my life."
Group: "Hi, Mike!"
Mike: "My name is Mike and I am an asshole. I was born an asshole and have been an asshole, sometimes in denial all of my life."
Group: "Hi, Mike!"
by Marthakay October 28, 2006
May 27 Word of the Day
The act of extreme masturbation. You must "knock one out" whilst in close proximity to any of the following; Your mum, a nun, your boss, a member of parliament, George Michael. A person with capabilities to act upon catching you mid self-abuse obvisouly ups the ante. Ejaculation must be reached before your danger wank target comes (no pun intended) to investigate. The higher the chances of being discovered with one's pants down, pulling one's war face is obviously where the danger comes from. The more danger involved the harder (or softer) it is to complete the task in hand (snigger). The more dangerous the better. The chance of being arrested, pummeled by an angry father or having your hand severed by an arab's sabre means that you are a pro "Danger wanker."
"I was in my bedroom and i shouted downstairs, "Mum there's call the police there's a madman with a set of steak knives hacking me to pieces!" As soon as I heard her scream, I dropped my trousers and commenced the danger wank. As I heard her stomp up the stairs I knew i had to be quick so i upped the pace, i heard her stumble on the top step, which bought me some time. Unfortunately for me I timed my finish badly. As my mum barged through the door armed with a rollign pin I chugged all over her. I spent the evening in A&E with concusion. Now thats what i call extreme DW"
by johnnynika May 30, 2006
2
Jerk: I just joined Assholes Anonymous.
Friend: Remember, call your sponsor before you even open your mouth.
Friend: Remember, call your sponsor before you even open your mouth.
by Purple Gurl March 22, 2011