Having a case of severe diarrhea in which you urinate from your asshole.

The two states of being are as a human being, or a hungry ghost. Semi-regularly you need to ask yourself which you are. Sometimes it is human. Others, alas, it is hungry ghost.

The hungry ghost seeks validity outside of themselves. Someone pining for an indifferent ex is a hungry ghost. Someone who arrives alone at 6:30 on Saturday night to a pub is probably a hungry ghost. Obsessive checking of mobile phones, chat sites or networks are clear signs that one is a hungry ghost.

The best thing to do is just stay home and ride it out. Read a book. Find some good clean fun.

Bad or weak coffee.

Normally used in reference to bath water. In it's natural environment, bath water is "clean", normally only dirty if your bathtub is dirty itself. But once a body is submerged, often just the lower half of said body, organisms and bacteria transition to the bathwater. Mostly unseen to the human eye, these organisms and bacteria spread throughout the bathwater in the steady metamorphosis into ass water.

the water that splashes onto the ass from a falling terd.

ass sweat after you've done physical activity

The term used to describe a situation in which you are taking a shit and you drop a big turd, causing the water to splash up on your ass cheeks.