n. One who drives, or v. to drive incredibly slowly, or interjection for dismay at someone who sometimes comes to a dead stop mid traffic, and then looks around.

There's a rattling quality to the motion, but it smooths out around corners at the same time that it violates the laws of physics, warping the curve to take days long, but in actuality, only require seconds of time passing.

not to be mistaken for critiques of old people, asians or out of town college students, these drivers are monsters, not stereotypes.

The two states of being are as a human being, or a hungry ghost. Semi-regularly you need to ask yourself which you are. Sometimes it is human. Others, alas, it is hungry ghost.

The hungry ghost seeks validity outside of themselves. Someone pining for an indifferent ex is a hungry ghost. Someone who arrives alone at 6:30 on Saturday night to a pub is probably a hungry ghost. Obsessive checking of mobile phones, chat sites or networks are clear signs that one is a hungry ghost.

The best thing to do is just stay home and ride it out. Read a book. Find some good clean fun.