Antique Wood

an errection of a man over the age of sixty-five.

"That old fuck has a mad case of antique wood"

by The swagenator April 18, 2008

Antiquity comprehension

Famous IRA tiktoker interested in history based in the USA

Hey do you follow antiquity comprehension?
-No, why?
- Dude you missing out, he's posting great educational videos!

by Officer piggy wiggy August 12, 2021

Antique Chandelier

A variation on the act referred to as the 'antique' method where tea-bagging is added mid throw so that the extra 'baggage' resembles an antique chandelier on the friends face.

" Woah dude, you just totally antique chandelier that dude... with your nuts."

"We should Antique Chandelier the Cro-Mag."

by Deadly Jerm January 22, 2009

Argentine Antique

When a man masturbates to gay porn and finishes on his own stomach then let's it dry to a crust like the patina on an antique.

Miguel couldn't wait to get home for a quick Argentine Antique before heading to the theatre.

by HenryBemis July 26, 2017

Antique Magician

Verb; The act of emmiting one's load, or money shot, on a female's face and proceeding by throwing a handful of flour in the air and disappearing by the time it settles.

I performed the antique magician on your girlfriend last night.

by BAWB04 February 20, 2011

Antique Dome

When an elderly women gives you extremely wet most of the time toothless oral sex.

Kari's grandmother gives antique dome all the time.

by dmillions2013 September 12, 2012

Modern Antiquity

(1) Any time in the modern era that predates your conception birthday.

(2) The latter half of the 20th Century; before the Aughts.

(3) The time before email, smartphones and the world wide web.

(4) When your parents grew up.

Before the Aughts, in times of modern antiquity, people had to sit in meetings, pay attention and actually single-task. Can you imagine not being able to text, update your status, or check-in?

by Headington Cabal May 24, 2011