A masculine female. A leader. A goddess among mortals. A descendant of Jesus Christ himself, the Ando Pando, also referred to as “Jen”, confidently struts around the block. She is outrageous and crude; her infamous stories perhaps divulge too much information. Yet, they are entertaining at the very least and life-altering at their best. Her sewing skills are that of a professional designer- her clothes are more exclusive and of better quality and character than Gucci - her floral print dresses with uneven hems make Givenche look like garbage. Her spirit animal is a wild tigress, and she follows suit in the bedroom. She has only one flaw, and only she knows what it is.

May you be blessed to encounter such a mesmerising circus anomaly as Ando Pando.

when you're hungover as shit after a spending a night drunk as a skunk