An addiction to the consumption of alcoholic beverages. In no way, shape, or form is it a disease, despite what those pompous assholes at AA try to tell you. Why the hell every other psychoactive drug in the world gets people addicted, but alcohol magically inflicts a disease, is beyond me. Smokers aren't said to have a disease because they're unable to quit smoking. Drinkers who have the exact same problem shouldn't be tagged as 'having a disease' either, but they do in order to make the AA pricks feel like they're some kind of miracle workers for "curing people every day."
Bob: "I got exactly the news I didn't wanna get from my doctor today, Jim ..."

Jim: "Me too. I recently discovered I have alcoholism and need to get cured. My doctor told me this disease could be fatal if I don't get the necessary treatment to quit drinking."

Bob: "That's nice. My doctor informed me I've got brain cancer. Wanna trade 'diseases?' All you have to do is grow a pair, get some willpower, and stop buying the shit. I wish it were that easy for me. I'll be spending the next several months getting blasted with radiation and probably won't survive. Sorry to hear about your impending battle with quitting drinking though. Good luck, I'm sure it will be a tough road to travel."

Jim: "Thanks, you're a great friend. I'll need all the luck I can get."

Bob: "The apology and wishing luck was sarcasm, dumbass."
by insanity76 December 29, 2006
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A progressive, fatal disease. A disease which can be arrested, but not cured with the help of AA.
Alcoholism is the only disease which you can be yelled at for having. You won't yell at someone for having polio.

Drinking is merely a symptom of the disease. It is a disease of perception. We are spiritually sick. Most people are spiritually sick, this is how our spiritual sickness manifests itself.
by John January 22, 2005
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Contrary to popular belief, alcoholism is the act of drinking by one's self, typically while in a state of malaise.
Doug: Where's Zach?

Chris: Haha I didn't invite that crazy fuck to my party.

Doug: Terrific. You know that he spends his evenings drinking alone in his basement? He does that on nights when he has no plans.

Chris: Drinking alone!? Now THAT is true alcoholism.
by Zebo_4sho July 03, 2009
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Basically if you call someone on the phone and in an emotional wreck and express your love for them. Bloody alcoholics.
Alcoholism is only a problem if you say it's a problem.
by iwannabeanalcoholic August 07, 2006
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The unfortunate side effect of being around and consuming too much beer.
I used to have a secretary who wouldn't give me blowjobs, and a wife who cheated on me. Then I got alcoholism and now I can jerk off whenever I want!
by Tommy Wommy Womsters October 05, 2003
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Very chic amongst (pseudo-)intellectuals, mostly of the hipster brand.
Sascha spends his Friday nights drunk, reading Derrida.

Alcoholism must be in this definition.
by kikikikikikikiki May 24, 2008
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