Guy 1: "Turn on the air conditioning, it's smolderingly hot in here."

Guy 2: "I'm trying to get it to work. If I turn off the radio, roll my windows down, and accelerate past 40 miles per hour, my air conditioning should start functioning again."

Guy 1: "Your car is so air conditional. Also, I fucked your sister."

"I'll be back from vacation soon. How are my fish doing?"
"Yeah, about that... 😅"

"He went to choke the chicken..."
"But that's animal abuse! How are you guys okay with this?!"
"I don't think that's what he meant by that 😅"