A British expression, it’s used to describe something that is no good, rubbish or of poor quality. It’s a rather more polite way of saying totally shit.
“How did your interview go?”
“Absolute Poo!”
by AKACroatalin July 13, 2015
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A fucking legend. someone who'll do something that even you wouldn't dare.
Did you see Tom? He swallowed a can of coke whole, what an absolute madman!
by Drudge_Skeletons November 08, 2017
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An exclamation or summation of a topic or group and its condition. The current state of something in degeneracy, failure, or disappointment.
Pete: "Wow Cardi B is at the top of the billboard 100 for Hip hop"
Steve: "The absolute state of hip hop"
by AZUBBY October 04, 2019
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1. noun: Someone who is unquestionably and entirely a cunt.

2. noun: female genitalia in its entirety
That Big Ears shat on the back seat of my car. What an absolute cunt.
by N. Oddy November 12, 2013
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To be an absolute swindle you must first say think of something completely retarded, then you must say this statement/opinion to a janojek near you, he will absolutely murder you.
Yo janojek did you know i’m better than you? You absolute swindle! GO KILL YOURSELF(gets obliterated by a tooth brush)
by thecapper November 15, 2020
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A person who goes on vacations when he's several years late on a deadline then acts put upon when people call him out on it.

Also a person who lures people into his home with promises of lemony cakes only to serve them Wild Cards and miniature sex dolls.
Me: Some would say that GRRM is an absolute fucker.

You: I agree with them.

Me: Hey, me too!

You: OK, it is settled then.
by Ye Olde Man Winter August 25, 2010
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A person or object, who is large in the sense nothing can get in their way.
Oh, Look over at Whomas, That absolute unit just barged through that crowd!
by BigWhomas September 29, 2018
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