Count Olaf is the very villainous, extremely evil, appallingly awful, perfectly putrid, terribly turbulent, unbeleivably unpleasant, completely corrupt, repeatedly ruthless, ineffably immoral, openly obnoxious, totally troublesome, wickedly wrong, never-endingly nasty, flagrantly foul, big-headedly bad, cunning count, who is a major character in the 'A Series of Unfortunate Events' books, and is obssessed with obtaining the vast Baudelaire fortune. Despite all of the afore-mentioned descriptions of this devilish-deed-doer, he is surprisingly sexy, as he is an evil genius with a cool tattoo (of an eye on his left ankle for all you who hav not yet been awakened to the world of Lemony Snicket and co.) who always has a scheme up his long, grubby sleeve.
you can pretty much guarantee that any of the dodgy new characters will tun out to be him...
"That's not Stephano, it's COUNT OLAF!"
"That's not Captain Sham, it's COUNT OLAF!"
" That's not Shirley the receptionist, it's COUNT OLAF!"
...yadda yadda yadda
by parlez January 10, 2005
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A fun and somewhat old fashioned style counting game for kids traveling in heavy traffic across the USA.
Oh sweetie, put your phone down and let’s just play Counting Teslas all the way home.
by Dr Bunnygirl November 29, 2019
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means how many people you had sex wit
player #1: last night my body count was like 10
player #2: yo, that is soft, mine was 10 per hour
player #3: i didnt get nun
by virgoprincess April 15, 2006
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The act of staring at one's screen to avoid bullshit at work.
Yea I missed the big catastrophe at work today as I was too busy pixel counting.
by DJ Akay June 14, 2007
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An ancient American rite of passage for the young male brosef trying to prove himself on the modern battlefield (read: bars and clubs). Counting douche has a long and rich history in the club scene and can be easily observed on any night where classes get out early.

The act involves one male (hereby referred to as the 'douche') performing a physical act against another male-generally in the form of light body checking, body slapping, or other type of immature physical contact. The douche, contrary to popular belief, is not looking to start a physical confrontation as much as he is trying to impress his bro circle and their skank squadron. Confrontation is not rare, however, and much to the delight of nearby onlookers the douche is typically thrown headfirst back into his circlejerk of friends.

The most conservative definition of counting douche requires that the douche be physically smaller than his opponent. Larger opponents may be sought out in order to achieve more 'bro cred' and choice mating rights with the skanks. If the douche is larger than his opponent then bravery (or is it stupidity?) does not come in to play; the douche is more appropriately referred to as an 'asshole.'

North America has a rich warrior history of counting coup, and counting douche is the latest iteration of this unique phenomenon.
Example 1.
Patron 1: Hey, why is that squiggly little quimby with the three popped collars making it a point to keep bumping into you?
Patron 2: Oh don't worry he's just counting douche.
Patron 1: Don't let him touch you! His axe body spray will rub off and embed into your soft skin.


Example 2.
Bro 1: Yo brah, I bet you a case of Natty Ice you too scared to start shit with Fat Larry over there.
Bro 2: Durr make sure the bitches is watching whilst I begin counting douche.
by Butterknife April 05, 2009
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its a term used to put your arm around someone. you start with counting ur far shoulder away from them as one, two which is the closest one to them, 3 their first and 4th the farthest one on the other side and keep ur arm around them
have you ever counted shoulders before?”
“dude, i just used the counting shoulders trick on katie and it worked!”
by kathryn money September 25, 2018
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The process of quantifying the number of corn kernals found to be lodged within a piece of feces. It can be done for competive purposes to see who has the most corn in their shit.
After we both shat on the side walk, we took a corn count to see who the winner was.
by chork November 29, 2005
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