Xavier Valentino Edwards is a guy who isn’t even a human. He’s extraordinarily amazing and he’s the sort of person anyone can go to: when you’re stressed, upset, angry, bored or even happy and you need to share it with someone. He will be the guy. He’s a guy who loves blue Fanta and wants to live in China, will probably hide in Ikea at times and be in hospital around 6 times a month, and you’ll tell him something but he’ll just ask the same question again. But a Xavier is a kind, sweet, loveable person who EVERYONE loves. A Xavier Valentino Edwards is a sports fanatic who loves the gym but also eats all the shit in the world, annoys the fuck out of his friends but in the end, we all know it’s a loveable annoyance. He’s a sexy as fuck dude who would break anyone’s neck if they angered him in one snap, yet keep his cool in that very moment. Many people will forever look up to him. Although a Xavier Valentino Edwards has been through so much, this Xavier always puts everyone before him by 100%, so caring and cute. He has been through too much shit, way more than the average person normally intakes, but a Xavier Valentino Edwards is a strong hearted Italian who would do anything for love, family, friends and trust. And he gets in loads of shit because he’s known for being a bad boy. He is my best friend and he will always be.

The act of extreme masturbation. You must "knock one out" whilst in close proximity to any of the following; Your mum, a nun, your boss, a member of parliament, George Michael. A person with capabilities to act upon catching you mid self-abuse obvisouly ups the ante. Ejaculation must be reached before your danger wank target comes (no pun intended) to investigate. The higher the chances of being discovered with one's pants down, pulling one's war face is obviously where the danger comes from. The more danger involved the harder (or softer) it is to complete the task in hand (snigger). The more dangerous the better. The chance of being arrested, pummeled by an angry father or having your hand severed by an arab's sabre means that you are a pro "Danger wanker."

Xavier Valentino Edwards is a guy who isn’t even a human. He’s extraordinarily amazing and he’s the sort of person anyone can go to: when you’re stressed, upset, angry, bored or even happy and you need to share it with someone. He will be the guy. He’s a guy who loves blue Fanta and wants to live in China, will probably hide in Ikea at times and be in hospital around 6 times a month, and you’ll tell him something but he’ll just ask the same question again. But a Xavier is a kind, sweet, loveable person who EVERYONE loves. A Xavier Valentino Edwards is a sports fanatic who loves the gym but also eats all the shit in the world, annoys the fuck out of his friends but in the end, we all know it’s a loveable annoyance. He’s a sexy as fuck dude who would break anyone’s neck if they angered him in one snap, yet keep his cool in that very moment. Many people will forever look up to him. Although a Xavier Valentino Edwards has been through so much, this Xavier always puts everyone before him by 100%, so caring and cute. He has been through too much shit, way more than the average person normally intakes, but a Xavier Valentino Edwards is a strong hearted Italian who would do anything for love, family, friends and trust. And he gets in loads of shit because he’s known for being a bad boy. He is my best friend and he will always be.