Having sex in the missionary position while wearing a condom and white sport socks for five minutes with your heterosexual spouse while your newborn child sleeps in the next room. Neither partner looks each other in the eye or makes a sound before the male partner orgasms.

White Picket Fencing is practiced most commonly in suburban neighbourhoods or at kink parties, where it is considered a fetish.

It’s an acronym standing for Can’t Remember A Fucking Thing. It’s usually used to describe embarrassment at being unable to remember someone (CRAFT moment); going onstage as the lead in the latest theatrical performance and your mind goes completely blank (CRAFT situation); the next morning after a night when you got pissed as a fart and woke up in bed cuddling a traffic cone and a string of fairy lights wound round your prick.