“What the Monkey!” is an expression which can be applied to almost any situation. It is not a question, it is a statement. Something like "What the F'"but to avoid cursing. "What the Monkey" is an expression usually when you are describing some kind of accident or surprise that had happened but it's funny. Like you watch some Funny Home Video about a guy trying to make a dive in the pool but the board broke or a cows trying to chase after you and make love.

a phrase chiefly used in northern England.

it is a contracted form of "it'll be reet", where "reet" means "alright" or "OK".

living your life according to "be reet" is the only way to find happiness in life.

An expression of shock pioneered in West Sussex churches as a way to avoid swearing when surprised. Has now spread and is a general phrase used when shocked. Can be shortened for instant messaging to WTM.