"i) "Ich wünschte, ich war Weisz, doch leider bin ich ein Jude."

ii)"I heard there's a new kid on the block, he's a typical Weisz."

iii) "Wtf? I left my wallet on that table, where did it go?"
"You KNOW it was Weisz"
"FUCK Weisz"

iv) "The fuck is there a hole in my desk"
"Weisz"

v) "Hey Weisz, mind putting this cash in the bank for me, I have to go take care of something for a bit"
"Oh no I know, that should be fine, no problem"
"Thanks man"

-Hours later-

"Weisz what the fuck, why does it not say there was any money deposited today in my account?"
"who cares, check out my new dradle"
"...I'm heartbroken"

vi) Weisz:"Hey don't say nigger, my cousin's black"
"... you're jewish"
"true"

vii) "I fucked a petra the other day"
"fuck off Weisz, that's my sister"
"doesn't count if she's alseep/doesn't understand"
"true"

viii) "Rachel Weisz is pretty hot"
"yea probly, Weisz"
"