The game always begins the same way, a charcuterie/asparagus platter is served with the traditional crab juice on the side as a palate cleanser. Only 2 players may play the wee wee game at the same time; but a 3rd player acts as a spectator (voyeur). The game is similar to a Czechoslovakian arm wrestle with a few key differences. Both players must have a minimum shaft length of 4 inches but no longer than 6 inches and with a mushroom-head no bigger than a New Zealand kiwi (in-season). Once both players have unsheathed their wee wee's, the game immediately begins. The objective of the game is to measure the individual players speed, dexterity and technique. The game ends when either player has collected 250ml of blood and or semen; or if the voyeur regurgitates the charcuterie/asparagus platter. The game is generally played in a recreational vehicle at a minimum speed of 85km/h.

When you eat dirt for the first time and leave your family to build a shack in the woods