When driving down a perfectly beautiful mountain road, one decides that a sparsely cleared, treacherously rocky, pine-cone encrusted jeep trail to the right seems like a logical route for a Subaru Forester to explore at 60 miles per hour. Screeching brakes, 100ft skid, flailing arms, wailing voices, mountains of dust, and a pine cone later, the car is humbling and hysterically unloaded to replace the right front wheel because a pine cone sliced a 1-inch gash in the sidewall. This deserves a Watson Award for sheer stupidity that ultimately led to endless laughter and ridicule.

Bro since I got dirtpilled on Tuesday I have made sooo many worm friends and made them soo many little houses to get married in. Me? Lonely? No you’re the lonely one u lawn owning freak