When you have a drunken urge to go to the toilet and defecate into your hands and use the excrement to relieve oneself with a masturbation ritual.
This is a disturb sexual pleasure which originated from Northern England.

The secret, dangerous, fifth teletubby. He's Tinky Winky's cousin. He'll cut you.

Stains of cum in the sheets of a bachelor, typically forming silhouettes of cats, dogs, Che Guevaras... you name it!

Wanky house is a definition used to describe a rubbish to average collection of beats and synth lines around 120-130bpm. Whilst a lot of house music is well produced, interesting and makes for highly pleasurable listening, Wanky House is of poor quality, boring and one ‘tune’ is highly indistinguishable from the next. It is usually only made and listened too for the sake of making and listening to house music. Producers of Wanky house usually only use the pre-sets supplied with the torrented copies of Fruity Loops they possess and will only throw in a Vengeance sample if they are feeling adventurous. Listeners of Wanky house usually do so via Youtube rips and low bit rate torrents, further lowering the quality, and are regular takers of ketamine. They also believe that the music they listen too ‘Is real deep man’.

A game played by (normally drunk) men. It involves the participants standing in a circle with a biscuit in the middle. The game players must then masturbate onto the afore-mentioned biscuit. The last one to shoot his load is deemed the loser and therefore, as a forfiet, he has to eat it.

It is a game that many people are aware of, yet few will confess to having ever played.

The act of busting a nut because you are angry/upset/mad. Usually crying while doing it under the sheets

1) A masterbation which is performed under circumstances of extreme sadness, to such an extent that the masterbater cries.

2) A masterbation which is had because the masterbater is so sad that a wank is the only way to cheer him up.