Adjust your fingers into the classic Vulcan configuration, with the pinky and ring finger all the way to the left and the middle and index finger all the way to the right. Approach your woman and insert two in the pink, two in the stink. Next, tighten the grip by clamping your fingers toward each other. This should completely decimate her gooch if performed with any sort of competence.

When you eat dirt for the first time and leave your family to build a shack in the woods