A term frequently used to describe quiet but troublesome Russian boys who often quote Shakespeare while engaging in primate-like behavior. Despite the fact that they are sometimes difficult to please, most women find them to be strangely irresistable. Although they are easily frustrated and may threat to "buff you with their bodies!", one short strip tease is all one needs to do to coax them into blissful submission. They respond to the names "Mikey, Michael, Michael ___ Jones! (when spoken to sternly), little squirrel, goofball, Pansy!, and Yoakface).

When you eat dirt for the first time and leave your family to build a shack in the woods