Top definition
Means Ted Kaczynski. commonly used on 4chan in /tkg/ threads and on fringe subreddits by supporters of Ted's views.
by anon805 June 01, 2020
May 27 Word of the Day
The act of extreme masturbation. You must "knock one out" whilst in close proximity to any of the following; Your mum, a nun, your boss, a member of parliament, George Michael. A person with capabilities to act upon catching you mid self-abuse obvisouly ups the ante. Ejaculation must be reached before your danger wank target comes (no pun intended) to investigate. The higher the chances of being discovered with one's pants down, pulling one's war face is obviously where the danger comes from. The more danger involved the harder (or softer) it is to complete the task in hand (snigger). The more dangerous the better. The chance of being arrested, pummeled by an angry father or having your hand severed by an arab's sabre means that you are a pro "Danger wanker."
"I was in my bedroom and i shouted downstairs, "Mum there's call the police there's a madman with a set of steak knives hacking me to pieces!" As soon as I heard her scream, I dropped my trousers and commenced the danger wank. As I heard her stomp up the stairs I knew i had to be quick so i upped the pace, i heard her stumble on the top step, which bought me some time. Unfortunately for me I timed my finish badly. As my mum barged through the door armed with a rollign pin I chugged all over her. I spent the evening in A&E with concusion. Now thats what i call extreme DW"
by johnnynika May 30, 2006
2
the real definition of an "uncle ted" is someone who walks into an empty restroom full of empty stalls, other than the one you are in, and opts to drop a major duece in the stall right next to you, which in turn annoys the fuck out of you just like your uncle ted does. Not recommended as uncle tedding someone can get your shoes pissed on.
"dude, im pissed as fuck."
"why what happened?"
"I was enjoying my peaceful morning shat session when some asshole decided to uncle ted me."
"what did you do?"
"I pissed on his shoes."
"good, he deserved it. Some people!"
"why what happened?"
"I was enjoying my peaceful morning shat session when some asshole decided to uncle ted me."
"what did you do?"
"I pissed on his shoes."
"good, he deserved it. Some people!"
by dabizz December 05, 2007
3
A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poop when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees... This is not to be confused with Turd Burglar who is someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open.
Dude, I just got Uncle Tedded real bad. I was trying to take a dump, and some dude was in there looking in the mirror for like 10 minutes. Finally, I just had to let it loose.
by noahat May 05, 2009
5
The person in your office who, no matter how frequently or what time it is, is always somewhere in the bathroom when you go in.
Dude I went to the can at noon and at 2, Jim went at 3 and 6:30, and Barry went at 7 and "you know who" was in there EVERY SINGLE TIME! He is such an Uncle Ted!
Those two Uncle Teds from marketing creep me out! They are always hanging out by the sink next to the urinals and I think one of them was trying to sneak a peek at my junk while I peed.
Those two Uncle Teds from marketing creep me out! They are always hanging out by the sink next to the urinals and I think one of them was trying to sneak a peek at my junk while I peed.
by - Campbell - June 16, 2011
6
Someone who tries to enter a bathroom stall several times when it is clearly being occupied. The offender, known as the Uncle Ted, will try several times to forcefully open the door seemingly unknowing that someone is in fact using the facilities. Can also be used as the adverb "Uncle Tedded".
"I was in the handicapped stall at the comfort station and some Uncle Ted came in while I was taking a deuce."
by Ranger Ted April 15, 2006