Uncle Crimbo is the Santa Claus-type figure of the Kingdom of Loathing.

Even though he doesn't have any children, nor any brothers or sisters, he's still an uncle. Purely by the magic of Crimbo.

Unfortunately, Uncle Crimbo has recently had some drinking problems, and his disgruntled little elves are tired of being exploited and forced to work in the Factory sweatshop wherein all Crimbo toys are made.

When you eat dirt for the first time and leave your family to build a shack in the woods