Someone who spends countless hours trolling urbandictionary.com, memorizing a plethora of phrases and spends an inordinate amount of time plotting how to casually slip them into daily conversation while claiming all the credit

Anatidaephobia is defined as a pervasive, irrational fear that one is being watched by a duck. The anatidaephobic individual fears that no matter where they are or what they are doing, a duck watches.

Anatidaephobia is derived from the Greek word "anatidae", meaning ducks, geese or swans and "phobos" meaning fear.