Sarah was out to brunch with her girlfriends but was yet to have a bowel motion for the day consequently she left a turdsworth of French toast on the plate.

Graham: "Frank, do you need to shit?"

Frank: "How did you know?"

Graham: "You've left a turdsworth of your carbonara."

Frank: "I love you".

Graham: "What?"

Frank: "Nothing".

-Priests are volcel (or at least they're supposed to be).

-Gary was so upset after the divorce he became volcel for the rest of his life.

' Ha! you fucking turdsworth '
' Jon, your a turdsworth '

Rob: 'Oi Jon, i heard your mom stepped in shit'
Jon: 'Yeah she did'
Rob: 'Turdsworth'