Top definition
Rocks with heads and devilishly smart minds that will one day outsmart humans and superbots and destroy the world
My former pet tortoise just hacked into my computer and is training an army
by CallingAllTortoises March 20, 2019
Get a Tortoise mug for your sister-in-law Jovana.
Aug 1 Word of the Day
the act of texting people while you are pooping
ex. (talking to a friend on fbook chat)

person 1: hey man whats going on tonight
person 2: i gotta go to the bathroom il poopt you

or

person 1: whatsup man what are you doing?
person 2: poopting you
by mr.poopter January 26, 2011
Get a poopting mug for your dog Julia.
2
An armored reptile, usually equipped with missile launchers which they hide under their shell. Highly underestimated, tortoises hide underground in small clumps, training for the day they unite and take over the world. They infiltrate human bases by appearing cute and posing as pets.

Not to be mistaken for turtles.
by I💗Hypixel May 18, 2016
Get a Tortoise mug for your grandma Helena.
3
Noun (ancient Roman military term): a battle tactic in which a squad of soldiers close ranks into a tight square and link their shields over their heads and at their sides all around, creating a nearly impenetrable formation which can advance and engage enemy positions at close range without taking heavy casualties.
During the battle at the Moon Gate in Alexandria, Caesar ordered the deployment of the tortoise formation to neutralize the enemy ballistas.
by speedog July 27, 2010
Get the tortoise neck gaiter and mug.
4
when one ejaculates on another's back and sticks a pillow to it.
"Forget getting Supermanned, that bitch got Tortoised!!"
by lpLPlp April 05, 2010
Get a tortoise mug for your girlfriend Rihanna.
5
An older man who likes to date younger women.
Old Marvin is a Tortoise who his new 20 year old girlfriend. Mmmmmhhhhmm
by djdannyd June 04, 2015
Get the Tortoise neck gaiter and mug.
6
Tortoise Another name for a ford Taurus. because if there slowness
That taurus is so slow its like a tortoise
by CGK May 12, 2009
Get the Tortoise neck gaiter and mug.